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Is Your Therapist Doing A Good Job?
Similar to purchasing a good pair of jeans, finding a good therapist can be challenging. Before they start working for you and making you feel good about yourself, you’ll need to try a few on and perhaps even make a few adjustments. According to science, psychotherapy is just as effective as medication, if not more so, yet unlike a pill, your therapist is a living, breathing person. This means that people can sometimes clash in personality, have misunderstandings, or just be plain odd. But after you’ve started, how can you be certain that the therapist you’ve chosen is a good one?
I recall that the first time I visited a counsellor, he instructed me to loudly declare my love for myself while tapping my shoulders back three times. He then demanded that I send him a $200 check to pay for his nonsense. I hesitated at the thought of seeing someone else. I didn’t realise how important consulting, processing, and planning with a professional could be until I began to think about the field as a potential career for myself. Because sometimes having a skin-tight support system that can actively promote you and shed light on fresh perspectives is preferable to any self-help book.
Here are seven signs that your butt has landed in the appropriate chair if you’re prepared to look around for a trustworthy therapist.
They Don’t Have A TV Character’s Voice:
You are familiar with the therapy language. For a tv show, “Tell me more about that” or “What I hear you saying” will do, but fictional therapists hardly have their own lives together. They frequently engage in really poor behavior, such as sleeping with their clients or breaking confidentiality. Those silly expressions are the first training wheels I remove when I mentor new mental health counsellors. So, if your new therapist is just a bunch of catchphrases with no real content, you might want to look for someone else.
They Give More Than Advice:
They offer more than simply advice: Why spend the money on therapy if it were only about the quick fix? You might as well seek guidance from a questionable Yahoo answer post. Although the slogan “5 Easy Steps!” is a nice opener, most actual transformation is exceptionally difficult. Before assisting you in developing a strategy, your therapist should be prepared to roll up his or her sleeves and acquire a tonne of information. Above all, they put you in charge because they are aware that you are the only one who truly knows yourself.
They’re Up-To-Date On Research:
They stay current with research; Therapy is a contractual relationship because you have a right to have your secrets kept private. You also have the right to be informed about the theories and methods your therapist uses, according to a clause in that contract. A good therapist is knowledgeable about which approaches are supported by research and which ones are less successful. So don’t be reluctant to inquire about your therapist’s orientation and the supporting data.
In the areas of mental health and neuroscience, new discoveries are made frequently. A good therapist should be engaged and interested when you ask for advice on how to reduce your smartphone usage or improve your nighttime sleep, and they should be able to steer you toward credible research that can inform your behaviour. Therefore, if you ask for further reading to take home with you, they ought to be able to give you references right away.
They Aren’t Trying To Be Your Friend:
It’s natural to want others to like you, even if they aren’t attempting to be your friend. However, if your therapist’s top focus is earning your admiration and approval, they will lose sight of the end result. Additionally, you aren’t paying them to cry along with you over the final 20 minutes of that Game of Thrones episode. Therefore, you might wish to try a another therapist if you think your current one is using the buddy card. If the meeting seems more like Sunday brunch with your pals, then you might want to speak out. He or she might periodically relate personal experiences to provide examples or perspective to the work.
They Give Good Homework:
As a professor of counselling, I advise aspiring therapists not to take on more responsibility than the client. A skilled therapist can highlight areas for development or undesirable behaviours, but it’s up to you to take up the torch and carry it forward. You know you have someone who is going to assist you get yourself in gear if you leave your appointment feeling inspired and with specific responsibilities for the week or month ahead (even if they are just things to think about).
They Listen To Your Feedback:
A good therapist encourages you to speak out when you feel uncomfortable or when a method isn’t working because they are listening to your comments. You would report it if a drug your doctor recommended caused your nose to fall off, wouldn’t you? Nothing should feel changed during therapy. Every strategy doesn’t work for everyone, but unless you provide constructive criticism to your therapist, they won’t know. If your remarks seem to have hurt them a little, that is their issue, not yours. Find a spouse that enjoys a challenge and isn’t afraid to pivot when the situation calls for it.
They Appear Genuinely Interested In What You Have To Say:
Although psychologists disagree on what actually motivates people to change, I am persuaded that curiosity is the key to major self-improvement. The less likely we are to feel overpowered by our actions and feelings, the more interested we are with them. Your therapist is no different, unfortunately. They’re not the one for you if they’re just phoning it in after their seventh customer of the day and are more concerned about their nightly Chipotle burrito than your recent breakup. Find a person that enjoys the difficulties and nuances that working with people brings to their profession. Therapy is an interesting trip because we are intriguing beings.
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